Exasperated, I pulled myself above and fell again. Is this the time? Is this the moment I’m going to die?
“No. You are not” A voice called out. I couldn’t fathom what happened in my state. I was under 40 feet of ice and my body didn’t respond to my cry. She did.
“Stand up!” This time I heard it clearly. My rational mind responded to the impossible thing I heard in defiance. It was her, I was so sure that I forgot all about myself. But.. but. . . she’s dead.
And the voice gently put a hand over my head. I didn’t see it, instead I felt it.
Accumulating all my strength I stood up and started climbing through the narrow opening. If you can fall through this, you can climb too.
“Up! Up!” The voice rang in my head and she was here again, beside me in my time of repentance.
Only if I had been there. The night it all went wrong, it all ended. Only if. . .. I had been there…
“The long awaited trip is finally here”
“I know, I’ve been waiting for this since morning.”
” I’ll wrap things here ASAP”
” Meet you there.”
Work kept me busy but I managed to slip by. It wasn’t supposed to be perfect, I just wanted to spend some time with my wife.
“Hello, Vinay? There’s is something you need to know.”
” What is it? make it quick. I need to reach home soon.”
There was a sigh on the other side. It alarmed me and the atmosphere became serious.
” What is it Raman?”
” There’s has been an accident.”
“Your wife. Shreya. She’s-”
“What? Is she okay?”
“Vinay, come home quick. Police is waiting for you.”
“Raman” I held back the worst thoughts “Is Shreya okay?”
“She’s dead.” I heard him sob. “Vin-” I hung up.
I looked at the dress I bought for her. It stay still. Lifeless.
I parked the car at the edge of the road. I couldn’t breathe. The dress, still lifeless. I choked then sobbed.
“Up I say!”
“Ahan” My hands were pale and the ice didn’t buldge. I somehow snaked halfway up.
“You can. You will. “
The voice, these words reminded me of the time she asked me to take up dancing for the anniversary next weekend.
” I am sorry, I can’t. ”
” It’s easy. You just have to move your body. ”
“I can’t. I have dancing skills of a caveman. ”
” Then you can jump around.” She laughed and all I did was stare at her hopelessly.
“Shreya, I know you love dancing but please don’t drag me into this. I can’t dance, maybe you should dance with your father.” I sighed. She placed her hand over my head and said,
“You can and You will.”
“Just a bit more.”
I coughed and gasped after reaching the opening. After all the darkness and all the blackness, I breathed in.
“You did it.”
I closed my eyes. She stood in the abyss and I realized I might be dead. Then she said, “No you are not. You are just tired. Sleep.”
As I tried hard to doze off, I couldn’t. I just saw her, I didn’t want to lose her sight; not again. She stood there quietly. No expression, no sound, just a silent figure. Turned towards me and walked; she didn’t float in the air, she walked. A ghost of my dead wife haunts me in the most beautiful way. I chuckled to myself, is this insanity? is this what they call crazy? Maybe love does involve insanity. Maybe sane men don’t matter any more.
Apparently, we all are about souls.
Don’t call me insane just because I live with a ghost.
You all live with ‘humans.’ The same. Just ghosts with flesh.